As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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