I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
