the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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