i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
When did angry sex become our thing?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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