I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize