if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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