Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize