If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
