What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
