Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
