we're blogging at a bar
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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