Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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