Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.

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(541): View more from Oregon

does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized

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(901): View more from Tennessee

How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes

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(253): View more from Washington

I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.

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(319): View more from Iowa

THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ

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(734): View more from Michigan

Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF

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