i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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