Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
