We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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