the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
