So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
