This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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