I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
