Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize