I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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