I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize