you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
