A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The Olympian is in my bed
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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