So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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