I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
