A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
