his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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