He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
