I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
