there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
