i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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