Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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