Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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