I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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