so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
