talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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