Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
