I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Randomize
