I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
