Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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