I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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