we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize