oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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