The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
