No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
