Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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