The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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