I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Say something about gay babies.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
