So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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