I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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