Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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