its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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