Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
