I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
