I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
