Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
