omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
