2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
